Niko + Changchang

Lessons in Orientalism

I didn’t know that on the day we’d walked around Das Alex, broke our vegetarian diets, and devoured döner sandwiches in the shade (the mayonnaise and beef juice running down our chins in self-incrimination), you'd known all along that I’d been in the same neighborhood the day before with an unapologetic orientalist named Mia, who’d been crushing me for years now since uni.  After we'd gotten in that huge fight about Bad Boy (you saying the asteroid was a cosmological fabrication invented my doomsday cultists to mind-control the masses, I saying that we'd always known something was bound to annihilate Earth, if not the continuing sea levels and rise in ocean temperatures, then our own anthropocentric technologies), eventually I holotexted Mia on my EMOS out of spite and padlocked libido, telling her she could buy me synth-apfelstreudel and some o-Keemun tea, nothing else.  For the record, I never fucked her, even after she started flirting with me in perfect Japanese (and I promise you, she tried all afternoon until I eventually muted her ass and walked away).