LB + I were in Santa Barbara last weekend. I mentioned this to Tom earlier in the week + he told me to stop on by his house. I believe the exact words he used were "pop by for a bit." LB was fidgeting during the whole car ride, at the Vietnamese restaurant where we ate lunch with the unfriendly waitress, driving up the hill to Tom's place. We parked on the street, kicked open a stuck gate door + saw this:
Then we walked down the pathway where Tom eventually greeted us at a
side entrance. He gave us the grand tour of his amazing Frank Lloyd
Wright house (which was the partial inspiration of
The Women,
a fact he pointed to us as we were talking around, taking in the
pouring sunlight inside his house). I knelt on the floor and looked
through Tom's glass bookshelves, filled in neat, long rows of his books
translated into 12 different languages. Man, I thought, this dude is
the straight dope. He's the real thing.
After introducing us to his 17-year old cat, who seemed shocked that I'd
interrupt her during her catnap to pet her, we met Tom's wife (Karen) +
then walked into the backyard and to an adjacent yard where Tom's
daughter lives (I guess). Then we drank red wine with Tom, Karen, one
of Tom's gregarious millionaire neighbors whose teeth were eerily
perfect + his Siberian wife, Tom + Karen's daughter's boyfriend, Spence,
+ this dude who looked vaguely familiar, who was housesitting for Tom's
daughter + I believe was also in the process of making Anne-Marie's
book trailer for Two Dollar Radio Press. But I dunno, maybe I totally
fucked up that whole who's who. LB + I politely passed on the stinky
French cheese (because we're both vegan), but did nibble on potato
chips. And man, some of the things we talked about were absolutely
strange. A few highlights:
1. Speaking in French with The Man with Perfect Teeth (ah, combien tu me manques, la langue française!)
2. Getting in a long, heated, but largely one-sided argument with Tom's
wife about what a total fascist Steve Jobs was + how much better Bill
Gates was. The truth is, I love me some Apple products, but I abhor
Apple labor practices in China in much the same way I abhor the
manufacturing of virtually all tech stuff in Asia. I also love/admire
the hundreds of millions of dollars that Bill Gates has donated to
charities, as well as his immunization project since his retirement from
Microsoft. But, as I pointed out, Bill Gates was as much of a fascist
when he was Microsoft's CEO as Steve Jobs was with Apple (both of them
stealing shit from the little guy), so it's a wash. This is where I
thought we were gonna come to a compromise, but then Karen started
ranting about the way Steve Jobs disowned his own daughter. This is
when Tom came to my rescue + said that the topic we were talking
passionately about was one of his wife's little obsessions.
--It's not an obsession, she snapped.
I laughed, sipped my wine, and realized I kinda liked Karen's spunk. She's got chutzpah, man
3. Getting in a prolonged conversation with Tom + the neighbor with the
perfect teeth about--of all things--brown bears, moose and mountain
lions. Tom said he's seen several mountain lions during his strolls
around his neighborhood + had almost run into several bears too. I was
thinking: Man, I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this
conversation
4. Talking with Spence about living in Argentina for a year + learning the art of voseo + rioplaténse Spanish
5. Hearing Tom call my wife LB (which is my nickname for her that I
claim is her actual name whenever I introduce her to people. Actually,
it stands for "little bug," but Tom said he liked LB, in part, because
it's like "TC")
6. Getting in a nice, long conversation with Tom about
The Ninjas of My Greater Self, which
he's probably going to read this summer since he's my thesis director.
I told him that after not hearing from Sandra Dijkstra for a year, I'd
sent her office a new query letter for NINJAS + got a gracious response
soon after explaining that they never got my first query letter (which I
totally believe) but that they'd love to read NINJAS. Tom seemed
pleased about this. You have to remember: He ran into Sandra Dijkstra a
year ago, who'd asked him if he had any writers to recommend + he told
her about me + she'd shown interest in reading my work, so Tom had
written a personal letter on my behalf right in front of me in his
office. Then, I'd sent the agency a query letter for BLANK + nothing.
Now, we know why. Obviously, this new development is much promising for
me. FYI, I'm revising NINJAS for like the 100th time + I'm planning on
sending Sandra Dijkstra my novel sometime in the next week. I also
learned through talking to Tom with my stained, red lips + tannin in my
teeth, that Sandra Dijkstra represents another one of Tom's former
students, Chris Abani, author of
Graceland,
among other novels, so maybe, just maybe there's even a little
precedent on my side. Either way, it's still an opportunity I didn't
have before I was one of his students, so I'm extremely honored to have
this chance.
7. Right before LB + I left, I told Tom about my vision: I want to
become a spokesperson for a cultural revolution that embraces
technological innovation (like my fucking dope new ipad I use to read
the Huffington Post + Le Monde) but also consciously embraces old skool
media, like record players + most importantly for me, hardcover books!
He liked it. T
8. I confessed to Tom that I'm a writer because it's the only thing I'm
actually great at. Sure, I can play piano + write electronic music
pretty well. I'm proficient with foreign languages. I love
understanding people + relationships, I'm intuitive + a passionate
lover. I'm also a pretty good cook + my sense of style is respectable.
But, writing is the thing I'm
really
fucking good at, the one thing where I feel I can make an important +
unique contribution to this world. I may not be able to figure out a
viable two-state solution in Israel/Palestine, but I can write the fuck
out of a novel.
9. Tom told me I'm like him because my writing has a lot of energy + I
love giving readings, I love the performative, interactive element of
being an author as much as I love the writing itself, which is
important. That's when I realized that I'm just a little bit like Tom
(or an early version of him), which is probably one of the reasons I
applied to SC in the first place, to work with such a literary legend.
Anyway, Kristin Shorten, an Australian journalist from News emailed me last Monday + asked if they could republish my essay on one of Australia's top news websites. And I was like: fuck yeah! So here's an abridged republication of my essay, "How to Stay in Love" in the lifestyle section of News.com in Australia, along with a few pics of LB + me in Socal + Buenos Aires for your viewing pleasure. I've also included, just for the hell of it, a picture of the front page, just to give you some context of where my essay fits within the bigger picture of today's news cycle on this website + why it got republished in journals + news engines like The Herald Sun, Courier Mail, News Whip + Optus Zoo, among others. My essay was even republished on a German website called Ad Hoc News with a picture of Michael Jackson!
There are a lot of things I'm not qualified to write about (of course,
this has never stopped writers before). But one of the things I feel
I'm eminently qualified to do is write about love. I've been in love
more than once. I've been in too many relationships to count. Some of
them have been horrendous slogs, others ephemeral + dramatic flare-ups, +
quite a few fell somewhere in between. Either way, one thing I'm good
at is connected to one thing I believe in wholeheartedly, which is the
capacity for humans to love + the redemptive place that love can play in
our culture. My life would have no value without it. My best writing
comes from a place of love (of characters, places, experiences,
languages, ideas, etc., etc.). My best relationships are overflowing
with that stuff too. Anyway, this time I wrote a lyrical essay about my relationship with LB, which the Good Men Project was
happy to publish because they love it when men talk about love. If you
have time, I hope you'll read it + tell me what you think about my
piece, "How to Stay in Love."